Topic 24: Santa Claus

Hello everyone, sorry that I have taken so long to add to the blog, but it has been a crazy year. However, with the Christmas season fully upon us, I thought a good festive blog to finish up the year would be good. Now I know what many of you are thinking, and 'no', this is not going to be a religious debate. Even though, no matter the topic it always seems to end up that way.

“Is it wrong to get your children to believe in Santa Claus?”

Now I know of a couple of friends of mine who will be rubbing their hands together with glee at this topic, but just hear me out. Many people have said that Santa detracts from the real meaning of Christmas, and to an extent, they are probably right. However, for very young children, the meaning is rather difficult to swallow anyway, and getting them to enjoy something fun as well can be good for them. It is good to teach them that as they grow up, some truths are fantasy, and some are fact, and it is also good to teach them how to tell the difference. At the moment, my children believe that Christmas is Jesus' birthday (See, I knew it would end up religious, my fault this time) and we celebrate it appropriately. (This year, they have all written down gifts that they can give to Jesus such as good deeds, love, etc... on lemon leaves, put them into boxes, wrapped them up and put them under the tree. On Christmas morning they are going to open them for him and throw them into the wind to give them to him.) But, they also believe that Santa will bring them gifts on Christmas Eve to reward them for being good throughout the year. As they get older, I will teach them which things are true, and which are false.

However, none of the above is why I believe Santa should be encouraged, and it is NOT for the sake of the children. Think about it, the gift from Santa is always the BEST gift under the tree. The gift that you have put all years thought into, and you just KNOW they are going to love it. But do you get any form of thank you for the gifts given by Santa? No. It is a selfless gift, given with no possible thank you in return. That is the reason for Santa. To teach adults how to give selflessly. And when my children have kids of their own, they too will understand this special part of Christmas, that I believe helps to embody the message of Christ.

So, in my humble opinion, I would have to say no, it is not wrong to teach your children to believe in Santa Claus, but the sad truth is that the spirit of giving is being lost to the greed of receiving, and that is the differential that needs to be recognised.

So, please, let us know what you think. Do your children believe in Santa? Did you? Do you agree or disagree? And just for fun, what sort of Christmas traditions does your family follow at this wonderful time of year?

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! And may the true spirit of Christmas fill all of your hearts, enough to last all of next year!

(That is unless we all die tomorrow... end of the world you know!)

Thank you - T.J.

Topic 23: Aliens

"Is the government hiding the truth about extraterrestrial life?"


Many people believe in aliens, and many do not.  I, myself, am a non-believer, but I am not closed to the idea of believing, it would just take A LOT of proof to convince me!  However, in saying all of that, I have a few questions to pose to all of you.  I recently watched the movie Apollo 18.  (For those of you who have not seen it, it is a sci-fi that apparently contains a portion of actual footage (not sure which parts, thoug I believe it might be the to Earth and back audio).  It is about the crew of the Apollo 18 mission going to the moon, discovering an empty russian ship there, dead russians, and aggressive alien lifeforms.  Overall it was a pretty average movie, and if you are looking to waste a few hours of your life I can recommend it, otherwise, probably give it a miss.)  The movie itself was pretty rubbish, but the conversation and ideas afterwards was the interesting part.  I could not really see any credability in this movie, but it got me thinking, so I researched 'Apollo 18 mission' on the internet, and guess what I found...  nothing.  More than nothing even, which helped give the concept credability.  (Though many people say that Apollo 18 was actually the Apollo-Soyuz test project (ASTP), which was supposed to be a diplomatic space mission to demonstrate the two countries co-operation.)  I did find a fair bit of evidence however on apollo 19 and 20, which were also supposed to be cancelled.  Apparently there is a gentleman by the name of William Rutledge, who was the captain of both the Apollo 19 and 20 missions.  These missions were collaberations between the USA and the USSR.  The story goes that on Apollo 15 they discovered a 5km long object on the dark side of the moon, and missions 19 & 20 were to further investigate the Delporte-lzsak region, close to the well-known Tsiolkovsky crater, where the object was found.

From what I have discovered, the Apollo 19 mission was launched from Vandenberg Air Force Base, California in July of 1975.  Apparently there was a significant launch acknowledged by NASA at this time, giving this credability.  This flight apparently nearly met with disaster, something to do with technical failure during a TLI maneuvre.  (???) 

The Apollo 20 mission, however, took place in August of 1976 and also launched from California’s Vanderberg Air Force Base, with the main purpose of landing on the far side of the moon and investigating the crashed ship.  (supposedly)

So here is where my opinion lays.  With the cold war happening, America HATED the Russians.  Why did they all of a sudden team with them for the Apollo-Soyuz project, and supposedly team together for the other two secret missions?  It seems to me that the Russians infact discovered the ship (if there even is a ship), so the Americans had to swallow their pride to be a part of it.  (Apparently the Russians DID have a rover exploring the far side of the moon, and its beacon supposedly guided the Apollo 20 mission to the correct location.)

Now, if you were to search on 'youtube' for footage of the ship, you will find oodles, but you will also find information on something called 'mona lisa', which is supposedly a recovered alien body from the ship on the moon.  I, personally, still remain unconvinced, but I do enjoy hearing people's opinions on this contravertial topic, because the sad truth is, we cannot trust the government to tell us the truth, we must find it for ourselves!

Let me know if you are a believer or not.

-T.J.

Topic 22: Diet drinks

"Are diet drinks making us eat more?"

Now, I am not really one for a conspiracy theory, but this I found very interesting.  Recent research (fairly unbiased research at that) has discovered that there may be a link between sugar replacements, and a higher appetite.  They have proven that the brain can recognise sugar, and also recognise the energy that it provides your body, and therefore helps you to feel full after consuming it.  But, when the body consumes a sugar replacement, it does not feel satisfied, and therefore tells the body that it is hungry. 

This test went further and got two groups of footballers together.  One group was given sugary drinks, and the other was given sugar-replacement drinks.  They were then provided with two tables of food (obviously seperate from eachother) both with identical foods and were told to eat their fill, being sure that everything taken from the table had to be consumed.  At the end of this, it was discovered that the group of sugar-replacement drinkers consumed on average 120 calories MORE than the other group.

This is all quite logical to me.  The body needs energy to function, sugar provides energy and therefore requires less energy from other sources.  Also, the worst of the sugar-replacements was found to be aspartame.  This chemical is NOT found naturally ANYWHERE in nature, unlike many other sweeteners.

So, with evidence that sugar-replacements encourage us to eat more, could it be that fast food outlets are encouraging the consumption of diet drinks, or maybe even putting them  into ALL of their drinks?  Just a bit of food for thought.

With commonsense and logic at the front of my mind, it seems to me, that for the healthiest outcome we should consume sugar if we want something sweet.  And, if we are trying to lower our energy consumption, we should look to WATER and not pretend to care by drinking diet drinks.  The sad truth is though that people are addicted to their sweet poisons, and will do anything to keep them, even drinking harsh chemicals that do them no good.  Do yourselves a favour, and replace one drink a day with water.  you will notice the difference.  And that way, you can have those calories in some other form...  LIKE CAKE! 

Please, let me know if you have noticed this diet dilemma or have other information on this interesting topic.

-T.J.

Topic 21: Bravery

"Have we as a society lost our bravery?"

It seems to me that more and more we are becoming a society of scared, pathetic wimps!  I can explain my point better with an example.  When I got my first job in a major fast food restaurant, I was taught that should we experience a robbery, the procedure was to be completely compliant and give them the money.  "Don't try to be a hero".  Now I am not one for advocating for stupid heroics that just get people killed, nor am I willing to stand up to a gunman, but just watch the news.  People are getting away with robbing people by simply claiming that they have a weapon somewhere on them.  They aren't even trying anymore!  And that is simply because we are becoming complacent!

We have also lost our bravery with regards to pain and discomfort.  Just take a look at our ancestors.  The things they lived with on a day to day basis is incredible compared to what we have now.  They were tough, brave and strong.  But we are weak complainers.  The slightest hint of pain or discomfort has us crying to our Mummys!  It starts with our children though.  We have started teaching our children that pain in any shape or form is unacceptable.  Just look at smacking.  Something that if done correctly is a highly affective discipline method, that has been proven to work for centuries, is all of a sudden wrong!  So then when our kids do experience some small form of pain, they have not learnt how to cope with it.  This also passes through onto child birth.  Now I know I will offend the masses with this one, but on I go anyway.  So many women are CHOOSING to have a nice, convenient pain-free birth.  Women have been having babies for thousands of years, so how come all of a sudden, they can't do it?!?  Now I am not talking about those who try to go through labour naturally, and it gets to be too much, or they cannot do it.  I am talking about those who point at a calendar, pick out a date and do not even try. 

As I said we are becoming weak, scared cowards, and the sad truth is that pain and discomfort is a part of life we need to embrace, but have somehow forgotten how.  I am not advocating for S & M, (whatever floats your boat) but I think that we need to dig deep, remember what others have had to go through, and understand that we are strong people, capable of so much bravery, if only we tried!

If you have any thoughts or ideas on bravery, please let me know.

-T.J.

Topic 20: Mind control

After many wonderful suggestions, I found my inspiration for this post on an ABC documentary of all places.

"Do we have full control of our own minds?"

Some scientists have been studying a special parasite that lives in rats and posseses a unique ability:  mind control.  In order for it to complete its life cycle, it needs to live in a rat, be transferred to a cat, and back to a rat again.  Now this is no easy task considering that rats are terrified of cats.  So, this parasite burrows into the animals brain, and changes its chemistry somehow, altering its views of cats.  An unaffected rat will flee from a cat, but an infected rat will actually run towards a cat.  Once infected in the brain, the rat can never truly rid itself of this parasite. 

This then posses the question of, what happens if a person gets this parasite?  Numerous tests have been conducted and apparently, in the United States alone, approximately 35% of the population tested positive for this parasite.  Could this explain the crazy cat ladies?

Does this mean that no one actually likes cats, and that anyone who does is being mind-controlled?  It also poses the question, what else do we do that is out of our control?  It is a difficult idea to discuss, as people will tend to relinquish blame and put it onto "I could not control myself!"  But it does make one wonder, what if the government has already harnessed this parasites abilities, and if not, how long will it be before they do? 

The sad truth is, we really have no choice.  If we choose to be paranoid and believe that the governement wants to control our minds, we will all end up living completely isolated and going insane anyway!  And even if we did discover that we are being controlled, most people would use that excuse as a total cop-out!  Our only real option is to carefully follow society, keep our eyes open...  and stay away from cats!

If you find yourself liking cats for no reason or suspect that you may have been brainwashed, let me know!

-T.J.

Topic 19: Foreign Aid

I had a private request for this topic and I thought that it was quite important.

"Should we be sending foreign aid?"

My simple answer to this question is...  NO!  This may sound selfish, but the idea of us donating billions of dollars to Cambodian schools when our own schools are looking rather dissmal is pathetic!  The whole concept of charity is really just to make us look good.  I for one say that politicians need to stop caring about how we look to the rest of the world, and start caring about the well-being of our own people.  We have just gained the 'carbon tax' which is the biggest joke in history!  We are now being charged twice, just for breathing!  Our people are already struggling, with pensioners and the disabled receiving considerably lower income than the poverty line! 

The best thing to do for our country and our people, especially during this 'financial crisis', is to use our money to help the people, and once our beautiful nation is thriving, maybe then we can assist the less fortunate.  Besides, we give those taxes under the impression that they will be used to better our roads, schools, hospitals, etc...  Not to bribe other nations to be our friends.  It makes us look like the nerdy, unpopular kid who has to buy friendship rather than earn it!

Unfortunately, the sad truth is that the government is no longer looking after its people, but looking after itself.  They are making us as Australians look like the bleeding hearts of the world, and everyone will treat us as such, constantly asking for a hand out.  How are they to learn and grow for themselves if they are relying on us all of the time?!?

If you have an opinion, (ANY opinion) on this matter, please leave a comment.

-T.J.

Topic 18: Help

Anyone who is a regular reader of TJ's Sad Truths would by now have noticed that I have run out of steam.  My ideas, though numerous, are difficult to put to form.  So I put the pressure onto you, my readers.  I am inviting my loyal readers to give me some topic ideas/questions.  All suggestions will be considered, though I will choose one of my liking.  The Questions/topics should be in the form of a yes/no question, but if you cannot do that, it is okay too.  So please, bombard me with your ideas of what should be discussed, or any sad truths that you have noticed and would like to shed some light on.  I look forward to hearing some interesting things.  :-D 

The sad truth is, I need your help.

-T.J.

Week 17: Child Professionals

"Is it a good idea for your children to have a career?"

This topic is pretty much targeted at child stars, models and singers.  I was watching a current affair last night and they were discussing 'The Voice Kids'.  This idea horrified me to my core.  I too am a proud parent and would love to show off my beautiful, talented children to the world, but the only benefit that it would have would be for me!

My children are really VERY cute, and I have been told numerous times that I should get them into modelling.  But the kind of people that they would be associating with would not be very ideal. Not to mention the self image obsession that would be instilled in them from such an early age.  They would become selfish, arrogant and vain!  And then there is the money aspect.  Yes, I could REALLY use the money, not that it would be mine.  But if I were to give them their money, well...  We have all seen what happens to child stars.  They go off the rails with access to that much money, and almost always get into drugs.

We then also have the added pressure of having them in the critics spotlight.  The downwards affect that bad critiques would have on a child's self esteem are crippling!  And all of this so then the parents can bask in the glow of their child's fame!  I am reminded of the movie 'Borat'.  A scene in this movie shows the star of the movie hosting a bogus audition for a movie for children.  The mothers do not know that they are being filmed for something completely different.  When they  are asked questions like 'can you make your 9 month old lose 3 kilograms (weights translated to metric)', many of them said yes if it meant getting the part.  Some even went so far as to agree to get their BABY to have liposuction!

I for one say 'NO!' Children should not have a career, they should be allowed to be kids, and enjoy their childhood free of the stress and pressures of such an industry.  The only reason these mothers are pushing their kids into spotlight is for their own gratification.  But the sad truth is, they do not care about their children's well-being, they only want money and fame.  If my children want to be involved in acting, singing or modeling, they can make that choice when they are of an appropriate age.

Please, leave an opinion.

-T.J.

Week 16: Smoking

"Is smoking killing the next generation?"

Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I hate smoking.  It is pointless, smelly, expensive, dirty, and an overall pain in my life.  However, never having tried it, I cannot criticise TOO much (though I probably still will).  But in reality, I do not care what people do in the privacy of THEIR house.  They can smoke themselves to death and that does not involve me, nor should it.  My problem however is children. 

I think that the worst thing I have ever seen is when I was working in (a fast food restaurant), and I was outside cleaning some tables.  A woman was sitting at a table, cradling a new born (not even a week old), smoking a cigarette.  She was pratically blowing smoke into the poor things face.  The little baby began coughing, and the woman said to the person next to her 'what's wrong with it?  Is it sick or something?'  It took every ounce of my being to not smack her in the face.  As I said, I do not care what an adult does in their own house, but when you bring children into the equation, I CARE!  They cannot get away, they cannot stop you, and they cannot tell you that you are hurting them.  You are taking away their choice and their health, just for some selfish, and might I add temporary, self gratification! 

Unfortunately, I have an even worse example.  When I was working in a different location, one of my co-workers was braging that when she was pregnant, she used to smoke all of the time, and none of her children had any problems!  I could not believe my ears!  That was possibly the most disgusting thing I had EVER heard!  That poor little baby was doomed before it ever got started.  I also later found out that both of her children had severe asthma problems, but she could not see the correlation.  I am sorry, but people disgust me!  As soon as you become a parent, (or even a parent-to-be) you have responsibility over another person's life.  Wouldn't you want to give them the best chance at life?  Your own wants and desires come second to the needs of your child!

I do have an example of a glimmer of hope though.  I had a relief chef come into work one day, and while she was there she seemed quite pre-occupied, so I took her aside while it was quiet, and I asked her if everything was okay.  She told me that that morning she had found out she was pregnant.  On top of this, she was a smoker.  "I just threw all of my cigarettes into the bin.  Quitting isn't very difficult when you have no choice."  I was so pleased to hear that at least one person out there had a brain in their head!

Now, as I said, I am not a smoker, nor have I EVER tried one, so this is not my field of expertiece.  But I do know that I see far too many people smoking around their children or loved ones who have chosen not to, but are still being affected.  The sad truth is that there are thousands of parents out there who would rather satisfy their wants, than to satisfy their children's needs, and I for one am digusted at their selfishness.  If something drastic is not done to stop our youth being exposed to this nastiness, they are going to be dying before they start growing.

If you have any opinions on this topic, please leave a comment.

-T.J.

Week 15: Grandparents

'Are grandparents being forced to practically raise their grandchildren?'

I am a proud parent of four beautiful children.  I created them, and it is my (and my partner's) responsibility to raise them.  But I look around at the other parents nowadays, and so many of them are dumping their children with the grandparents to look after them, so they can go out partying!  As I said, they are MY children, and if I wanted partying to be a priority in my life, I would not have had children!  My parents had their turn raising children (me!) and now it is my turn to enjoy the ride.  Children are a MASSIVE responsibility, but aren't they worth it? 

So many people say to me, 'why don't I watch the kids for you, so you and (partner) can have a nice night out?'  It is a lovely gesture, but to be honest, I do not want time away from my children!  They are my most precious possesions, and I am proud that they are mine.  I love being around them and when they are away from me, let's just say I am not in a good mood.  People also say to me 'You need quality grown up time'.  I do agree, and that is why my children are in bed by 7:00pm!  I have all evening to spend with my partner, watching scary movies and eating naughty treats!  I do not need to dump them with somebody else to enjoy myself!

Furthermore, children are very impressionable.  The more time that they spend with other people, the less influence you have over them.  If you want them to think and behave in a certain way, you are the best person to raise them.  This is also very important when it comes to morals and beliefs.  Grandparents are wonderful, do not get me wrong.  The world would be a very quiet and boring place without them!  But I know my children better than anyone else, as I should.  And I know that when my eldest boy is crying for a chocolate bar, the last thing I should do is give him one.  I am trying to teach him some self control and how to deal with things without crying.  But grandparents, are not trying to teach them, after all, that is not their job.  It is a parents job to teach their children all of the important things in life, not the grandparents.  As I said before, they have had their turn, and now it is their time to relax and enjoy the good side of things, without having to deal with the tantrums or poopy bottoms.

Also, grandparents are not as physically capable as parents are, and it is unfair on the grandparents to expect them to be.  These selfish 'parents' nowadays who dump their children with granma and granpa to go off partying are putting a lot of pressure onto the elderly.  How are they supposed to run after kids, smack them when they are naughty, pick them up when they fall over, and deal with the generally exhausting day?

People need to step up to the plate of responsibility.  If you do not want children, or are not willing to be there for them 100% of the time, DO NOT HAVE SEX!  Children are hard, exausting work who need to be the primary focus of your life.  They are selfish parasites who will never think of you and your needs, your financial situation or your feelings.  But if you are willing to take all of these things on board, it is the most rewarding experience, not one to be palmed off to your parents.  Unfortunately, the sad truth is, people do not care about their children!  They have pain-free scheduled births, get their husband or friends (or parents) to bottle feed them with formula, and then dump them in childcare as soon as they can!  People are not raising their children anymore, and THEY are the ones missing out!  They are missing the MOST rewarding parts of life!  The smiles they give you when they are drunk on mummy's milk (this does not mean a drunken Mummy's milk!), the great big grin they get when you give them a special treat, and the way they give you a hug and whisper in your ear 'I love you Mummy/Daddy'.  If they fall and hurt their knee, a hug and a kiss seem to posses magic qualities! 

Life is not about money, power or friends.  It is about these tiny, everday moments that could be so easily overlooked and missed.  People are never seeing these magic moments, and their lives are poorer for it.  People please, be a parent!  Spend QUALITY time with your children and loved ones.  It passes in the blink of an eye, and once it is gone, it is gone!

So please, leave an opinion.  Good or bad I do not mind.  Just make sure you share!

-T.J.

Week 14: Breastfeeding

"Should babies begin on solid foods before six months?"

This question comes from the news the other night.  Apparently some 'expert' has come out saying that the sooner the better.  He was saying that four months or earlier if they seem interested is ideal for helping them to not have an allergic reaction to foods.  What a ridiculous thing to say.

Now I am no expert on the matter, scientifically anyway, but I have had four children, all with no known food allergies.  What we do is give them strictly breastmilk (I am not getting into the formula debate, as I will insult too many idiots) until six months.  Before that time, no other food is to even touch their lips.  Once they turn six months, we gradually start introducing low risk, pureed foods.  Usually we start by just giving them breastmilk on a spoon to teach the concept.  Then we move onto cooked, pureed rice mixed with breastmilk to make it watery.  We don't give meat until they are nine months and are getting the hang of vegetables.  At one year (on their birthday) we give them a peanut butter sandwich, and after that we don't hold back, trying to expose them to as many different foods and flavours as we can, including spicy foods and different cultures foods.

This has worked 100% of the time for us, so with results like that who can argue.  Unfortunately there are other factors involved that can lead to food allergies.  I do believe some of these include:
-  Premature babies
-  Babies whose mothers smoked (it does not even have to be while they were pregnant.  Research has shown that the eggs can be damaged well before they are released.)
-  Fathers who smoked (Again research has shown that a man who smoked when his sperm first became active (about eleven) had a much, much higher chance of having children with weight problems and other related issues)
-  Formula fed babies I believe are at a higher likelihood of developing allergies also, as they are not getting the food through the breastmilk (again, can you sense my opinion on the breastfeeding/formula argument?)
-  Perhaps even genetics

I would like to add that we do not fully understand all of the reasons for allergies, so please do not think I am directly blaming anyone for their childrens health problems, or saying you are a bad parent.  I am just trying to give light to an over-shadowed view.

Now, if anyone out there happens to be a nurse, midwife or other expert in relevant fields, I would appreciate any information they could provide on this topic.

My partner and I had always wanted children, so we made sure that we got married young, and had children young, giving them the best chances for the best health.  However, I do understand that not everybody has this luxury.  So, for that reason I think it is fool-hardy to expose your baby to foods before their system is ready to cope with it.  The sad truth is though, that society finds it easier to blame other factors for allergy problems, than to encourage women to do the right thing for their babies and BREASTFEED them for as long as possible! 

If you have a little one with allergies, or have any information on this important topic, or even if you just want to throw in your two cents, let us know.

-T.J.

Week 12: Relationships Part 2

'Are people using divorce as a first resort instead of a last?'

So many people complain after a few years of marriage that 'the spark has gone out', or they do not know the person anymore.  I believe that this is probably the biggest contributor to divorce, but it does not have to be.  For those who think that the end is nigh, please, read my own personal keys to a succesful relationship before you take the easy way out.

First things first, all succesful relationships need to have open and honest communication.  I think that the idea of 'making time to talk to eachother' is farsical!  Every night when you go to bed, before you fall asleep, that is talking time.  Go to bed half an hour to an hour earlier, and spend some time together.  You need some time to unwind, and debrief eachother on your days.  This is your partner after all.  It is their job to keep you sane and help you with your problems, as it is yours to do the same for them.  All decisions are discussed, so then both parties are always aware of what is going on.  And do not keep any secrets.  I live by the philosophy that all lies WILL eventually get found out.  It is always better to tell the truth immediately, than to let a lie fester.  We are all human and all make mistakes, so to own up to your mistakes immediately is commendable, and usually forgivable. 

Secondly, you must always remember that you are both equals in your own ways.  So you must never treat the other as a slave or one of the children.  For example, my most hated chore is the dishes, so for that reason, I always do them.  It is selfish of me to tell my partner to do something just because I hate it.  We never TELL eachother what to do, and if we ask something of the other, both answers are okay.  Let's face it, if you cannot handle someone saying either yes or no, do not ASK!  This is your partner and you must RESPECT and appreciate them.  But, if you are not happy with something, as I said before, tell them!  It is their job to make you happy, and by not telling them, you are not letting them do their job.

Thirdly, and this will sound absolutely nutty, but please hear me out, one of the keys to a succesful relationship is arguing (not fighting).  Arguing means that you both still care enough to fight for what you want or believe.  Let's face it, if you do not love someone, you do not really put in any effort or care enough to fight for things.  This also helps with communication, and getting things off your chest.  When you live in close proximity to someone, things are bound to annoy.  We must remember that this is not personal.  Another rule my partner and I live by is we are to never break up over a fight.  If we were to ever break up it would have to be on unnamous terms, where we have  both discussed and agree that there is no longer any love there.  Also, with regards to fights, and this very important, NEVER go to sleep angry.  When you both go to bed, talk out the problem.  You do not sleep until it is resolved.  It does not matter if you have a meeting in the morning, your relationship is more important!  I would also like to add that your marital bed belongs to both of you, and should NEVER be held against the other.  We never kick the other out of bed!

Now, so many movies that I have seen, involve the wife complaining that there is no spark any more or things have gotten boring in the bedroom.  Let me assure you, if you are bored, so are they!  (This would not really be a problem if you were following step one of communication, but some people are afraid of discussing this topic!)  If you want them to spice things up, you do it first!  It is very rude to be upset that they are not being spontaneous when you are not!  And if you remind them how much fun things can be, they will usually follow suit and make more of an effort too.  It comes down to not expecting them to do things that you do not do.  But I do think a lot of women cannot be bothered to try to be in the mood, so the men give up trying.  It takes two to tango!  And let's face it, sex is very good for you.  It releases endorfins, gives you excercise, and helps renew the bond between partners.

The real truth is, I am not a relationship expert, and these are simple things that anyone can do.  But the sad truth is that people are not willing to put effort into their relationships, as they 'never last' anyway.  If people put the same amount of effort into their marriage as they do their job or friends, they would never fail!  Today is our ten year anniversary (six years married), and I can guarantee that we are even more in love today than we were a decade ago.

Give us some feedback!

-T.J.

The Most Valuable Thing We Have

Wars are fought over money, land, gold and diamonds, but what really is our most precious resource?

It is time.

We waste it with fighting, silence and sleeping.  No power on this Earth can get it back, and no one knows how much they have in their possesion.  Treasure your precious resource, and appreciate every single second of it.

Week 11: Religion

"Does religion make the world a better place?"

This question will make many cringe, but believe me we do have some good points.  We were watching Q & A the other day, and this was the topic they were debating.  They had a scientist and a bishop, but niether side touched onto the points that I would have made.

Now, I know that many people will say 'what about the crusades?'  Yes.  Some TERRIBLE things have happened in the name of religion.  But that is not my question.  We are looking at today, right now.  I would also just like to add that this debate is NOT about whether religion is or is not real.  That is a big can of worms that I am at present leaving alone.  My question is about the value of religion on society.

We all acknowledge that almost, if not all western countries are founded by religious cultures.  Most of our laws and traditions come from our religious ancestors.  Yet so many today mock and criticise anyone with beliefs, and it is almost frowned upon to believe in God.  But, what would our world be like without these foundations?

Many people would find their lives lacking, without any real purpose or goals.  It would also be quite a depressing reality, with nothing to look forward to as a reward for a good life.

More importantly, though, there would be no final punishment for bad deeds, and this would create anarchy.  If the gorvernment revealed to everybody that tomorrow the world would explode, those without religion or faith would live for the day.  They would do as they pleased, with no regard for the conseuquences, as lets face it, to them there would be no punishment for crimes.  But for those who have religion or faith, they would continue to follow their moral compass as they believe that punishments exist beyond the realms and boundaries of the here and now.

I know that many people believe religion to be a waste of time, but for this one important reason, I think it is necessary for civil peace and well-being.  The sad truth is, though, that todays society is all about immediate gratification, with no concern for long term consequences.  People would rather throw God in the bin and enjoy themselves, than worry about their eternal souls. 

I would love to hear some crazy arguments both for and against this topic, so unleash 'hell' (pardon the pun) and let us have it!

-T.J.

Week 10: Easter

"Are children missing the real point of Easter?"

Almost every child around the world will wake up on Sunday morning to the exciting expectation of receiving ridiculous amounts of chocolate and goodies.  We will spoil and over indulge eachother, go on holidays and enjoy time off work and school.  But why is this time of year so special?  Most children will rattle off something about the Easter Bunny, and how he brings them chocolate if they are good.  So more and more we are using this holiday as a reason to bribe our children to be well behaved.  I would say with absolute confidence that MOST children are completely missing the point of Easter.  I do understand that it is a difficult concept to make kids aware of, but I have come up with a winning formula that I am willing to share with you all.

Firstly, Good Friday.  My children know that every year we have hot cross buns on Good Friday, and both my five year old and my three year old understand why.  We eat a hot cross bun on Good Friday to remember that Jesus died on the cross for us.  It is that simple.  Just one thing, one day, one step at a time.  Now, I know that hot cross buns were not originally a part of christianity, and that they were only introduced to help assimilate the 'pagans'.  However, it does not change the fact that it is a fantastic tool to help remind children of the day's true meaning.  I do not care where it came from, all that matters to me is why I and my children do it.

Secondly, Easter Sunday.  This one gets a bit trickier, but my five year old understands it well enough.  We tell them that the Easter Bunny brings them chocolate eggs every Easter to remind them of the new life that Jesus had when he came back to life.  My daughter is under the firm belief that the Easter Bunny is, well, almost an angel, or a messenger of God.  He is sent by Jesus to remind us of his gift to us, by giving us another gift each year.  My younger children, all they hear is blah, blah, blah chocolate.  But the eldest gets the concept quite well.  Again, I am aware that the egg did not originally come from christianity, but in my household, it represents what I say it does, and not some thousand year old custom.  Besides, the idea works, and sticks in their minds.

So there you have it.  Two simple ways of reminding children the importance of this special holiday, without taking away the special treats that they look forward to so much.  But the sad truth is, no one seems to care about why they do things, only that they get the reward (in this case the chocolate).  I think that we all need to remember to always take a little time out of our day to explain the 'whys' of the things we do to our children.  After all, it is the 'why' that is the most important thing in this world.

Please, let me know if you think Easter is a mistunderstood holiday or not.  Happy Easter.

-T.J.

How special our lives are

If a single seed of grain never falls to the ground and dies, it never becomes anything more than a single piece of grain.

But when a single seed of grain falls to the ground and dies, a whole new plant grows from it, filled with hundreds of new seeds.

Week 9: Relationships

'Is sexual promiscuity ruining long term relationships?'

Has anyone ever watched a movie where the husband and wife were really old and still in love.  They were best friends and knew each other better than anyone else.  They were each others only sexual partners and never had any desires to sleep with anyone else.  Now have a look at our society.  Divorce is VERY commonplace, and to have only one sexual partner is unheard of and even frowned upon.  There are quite a few problems happening around us in the world of relationships, and no one seems to even notice. 

First of all, husband and wives of today's society seem to only be together out of necesity or procreation purposes.  They are not close and do not even know eachother that well.  The reason for this is that our partner is no longer our best friend.  We cling to our friends like lifelines, and throw away partners every couple of years.  Am I the only one who can see how wrong this is?!?!  I feel like I am going mad!  The person who you let be closer to you than anyone else (And yes, I mean physcially) should be the person whom you trust and confide in the most.  Your partner, with whom you make babies should be your best friend, someone who you will be with for the rest of your life.  This is why the courting process is supposed to be long and drawn out.  You should get to know the person that you are going to marry, so then you are VERY sure that it is them that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

But in saying all of that, the bigger problem and point of the topic, is sexual promiscuity.  In our society you must 'try before you buy'.  Those who don't are teased and looked down upon.  How can you marry someone if you do not know how they are in bed?  What a ridiculous statement!  My answer to that is how do you know if someone is bad in bed if you have both never been with anyone else?  It makes sense, doesn't it?  In the days of old (Like the 1600's) sex was seen as a very special thing, to be protected and savoured.  To have sex before marriage was to taint someone, and to have multiple partners was dirty and vulgar.  By multiple partners being commonplace we have lost how special sex is.  Now it is as normal as kissing or even holding hands.  Again, I feel like I am the only sane person on the planet!  So many problems can be avoided by only having one partner!  Bastard children, STD's (STI's), unreal expectations, feelings for old partner's being sparked, children to other partners, child custody, alimony...  I could go on forever!

I think we need to remind ourselves of what our grandmother's used to say, 'no one wants to buy the cow when you're giving out the milk for free!'  Unfortunately, the sad truth is that we are losing everything that is special in our lives, and we are filling that void with crap!  We need to go back to the days when the simple things were the most special.  We should get a thrill from holding holds, and reserve the most delicate and important parts of ourselves for our special ONE.

Please let me know if I am not going mad, or if I am.  I would love to know if I make any sense to the rest of the world.

-T.J.

Week 8: Children's Lunchboxes

It seems that responses are becoming less and less frequent, so I am not going to tally the previous weeks for and against, but I will just move on to the next topic.  So, back to children and the vast multitude of issues therein, this week I am going to discuss:

"Should schools be allowed to refuse to let our children eat certain items in their lunchbox?"

So, your children's lunchbox contents are becoming more and more of a topic for debate.  The biggest problem that I can see is the irresponsible parents who send their children to school with nothing but rubbish!  They think it is okay to give their child a bag of minties and think that they will get all of their nutrition from this.  It is because of these individuals that the rest of us are being punished by the education system.  But now the good parents are being  dictated to about what should and should not be included in their children's lunchbox.  First of all I wold like to clarify that I am NOT talking about things related to allergies.  If a student in the class has a severe nut allergy for example, I can completely understand restricting the lunchboxes in that respect.

I have heard of a case recently where a woman's little boy took a homemade cupcake to kindy with him, and he was not allowed to eat it.  I was under the impression that these are OUR children, and do not belong to the state.  If I want my child to eat a cupcake, I will give them a cupcake.  We should not be teaching our youth that treats are forbidden and sugar is EVIL, or that the state has the final say!  As all things in life, I believe that moderation is the key.  In my child's lunchbox there is:  a sandwich (which changes spread almost everyday), a few pieces of fruit, and a small treat.  She knows that should she start misbehaving at school, the treat will no longer be in there.  And she loves getting a reward for being a good girl.  My child would be devastated if I had sent her to school with a special cupcake for being so good and her teacher said 'no, you cannot eat that!'  I am her mother and I know what is best for her!

What gives the education system the right to decide what food is good and what is bad?  I find it a constant frustration how much power the gorvernment is taking away from us as parents.  Whatever happened to good old fashioned common sense and discretion?  Their life is MY responsibility, and no one (except my partner) is more invested in their interests than me.  Are the educators the be-all and end-all of knowledge on nutrition and health?  I have always been of the belief that if you NEVER eat any sugary or fatty foods, your body does not know how to cope with them when it does get exposed to them.  So a little bad every now and then is good, and it shows your body how to tolerate such things. 

However, and potentially more importantly, I feel that doing this to children is forcing them to focus on body image much too much.  Children should not be worried about getting fat or having high cholesterol.  It is not wonder that aneorexia and bulemia are so rampant in western countries.  We are teaching our children that the most important thing is looking good and watching your weight.  Yes, as an adult we need to ensure that we make healthy choices and do not constantly indulge ourselves, but this concept should not even enter a child's mind until they are, well, no longer a child really.

I hate to say it, but the sad truth is, we as parents are losing the power to raise our children as we see fit at younger and younger ages.  Soon, formula will be delivered door-to-door, and breastfeeding will be illegal, smacking will be an imprisonable offense, and they will get all of their meals from 'the system'.  What a disgusting and miserable future we are facing!

Come on, let our kids be kids.  Let them eat chocolate and biscuits!  And especially, let them eat a yummy cupcake, made by their own mother with love.  I think it is time we took back our rights as parents!  I for one am sending a cupcake with my child today, are you?  Please, let me know your frustrations on this issue, and tell me if they got to eat their treat or not.

-T.J.

Responses/Opinions on the issues

I will keep a tally of people's opinion of my issues here, so feel free to add comments to old issues at any time as I will update this on a weekly basis.  I look forward to hearing anything and everything that anyone has to say on all of my topics.  Happy reading!


Week 1:  Children's Discipline
  "Should smacking your children be made illegal?"
For:          1
Against:    2

Week 2:  Racism
  "Has racism become acceptable?"
For:          3
Against:    0

Week 3: Feminism
  "Has the feminist movement gone too far?"
For:          2
Against:    2

Week 4:  Celebrity Chefs
  "Do celebrity chefs have too much power?"
For:          2
Against:    2

Week 5:  School
  "Is school letting our children down?"
For:           3
Against:     1

Week 6:  Politicians
  "Are politician's wasting our time and our money?"
For:          1
Against:    0

Week 7:  Dangerous Drivers
    "Are timid drivers more dangerous than aggressive drivers?"
For:        1
Against:  0

Week 8:  Children's Lunboxes
  "Should schools be allowed to refuse to let our children eat certain items in their lunchbox?"
For:          1
Against:    3

Week 9:  Relationships
  "Is sexual promiscuity ruining long term relationships?"
For:          2
Against:    1

Week 10:  Easter
  "Are children missing the real meaning of Easter?"
For:          2
Against:    1

Week 11:  Religion
  "Does religion make the world a better place?"
For:          4
Against:    5

Week 12:  Relationships 2
  "Are people using divorce as a first resort instead of a last?"
For:          3
Against:    1

Week 14:  Breastfeeding
  "Should babies begin solids before six months?"
For:          0
Against:    6

Week 15:  Grandparents
  "Are grandparents being forced to practically raise their grandchildren?"
For:          4
Against:    0

Week 16:  Smoking
  "Is smoking killing the next generation?"
For:          1
Against:    0

Week 17:  Child Professionals
  "Is it a good idea for your children to have a career?"
For:
Against:

Week 7: Dangerous Drivers

So, it seems to me that people are too scared to give an opinion on my political suggestions, with only one comment so far.  But that is okay, I have another low-key topic that should be less controvertial and intimidating.

My recent roadtrip gave me the inspiration this week to write about bad drivers.  Let's face it, everyone has seen or encountered one.  My question is not however about whether or not you have seen them, but more to the point who causes more problems?

"Are timid drivers more dangerous than aggressive drivers?"

First things first.  I have been taught by a very intelligent person that most arguments occur from misunderstanding people's definitions.  So, I will clarify. 

Timid:  Someone who is slow, nervous, indecisive, over-cautious
Aggressive:  Someone who makes quick decisions and is quick to act on them, usually taking advantage of opportunities as they arise

How many times have you been approaching a round-about, checked to make sure that no one is coming, and went to go, when you have had to suddenly brake, because the old woman in the little corolla in front of you is sitting there waiting to see if that car approaching the round-about ten minutes away will be in her way?  Or people who suddenly slam on their brakes because a car 6 vehicles ahead started braking.  Timid drivers tend to take WAY too long to make a decision on the road, slowing up and aggravating all those around them, and their decision is usually a bad one anyway!

That is not to say that aggressive drivers do not have their flaws.  But for the most part, they just want to be on their way.  So if you do not get in their way, aggressive drivers are out of your hair and gone.  But the timid, slow drivers, who do 50 in an 80 zone, in the right hand lane (left for you Americans), sitting beside a big truck who cannot go any faster...  I am beginning to understand why the aggressive drivers are so angry.  Timid drivers tend to make normal people act irrationally and even dangerously, just to get away from them.  We take risks and get filled with rage by them.  How many people have tail-gated (driven RIGHT behind someone else's vehicle, practically touching them - for the International audience) someone because they were driving TOO cautiously?

The fact is, when everyone on the road is driving normal or aggressive, there are not as many accidents as when a timid driver enters the mix.  And the sad truth is, we are encouraged to drive over-cautiously, with little to no decision making and we are losing our ability to be good drivers who make good, quick decisions.

Please, let me know your opinion on timid and or aggressive drivers.  And please, don't be TIMID, voice your opinion.

-T.J.

Week 6: Politician's

It is clear from the 10 comments received that education for our youth is something we all take seriously, and everyone pretty much agreed with my points.

As an Australian, I am only able to make my comments this week on the Australian political system, as it would be unfair for me to judge the government of a country that I am not a part of.  So if you are one of our readers from The USA, Germany, Russia or Vietnam, please leave a comment letting us Australians know how your political system works, (or doesn't).

I have been very hesitant to delve into the realm of politics.  It is very personal and private to each individual, not to mention the fact that I do not want to get letter bombed should I say something others disagree with.  However, there are some points that I feel need bringing up.  To my actual point for this week,

"Are politicians wasting our time and our money?"

Now I can practically see everybodies heads frantically nodding up and down, (finally, a topic that I am confident that everyone will agree with).  But I am very serious.  Back in the middle ages, a King ruled over his people, and the people generally loved him.  The greatest honour that one could hope for was to be praised by the King.  It was blasphemy to speak ill of him, and he always stood with his men on the battlefield.  (please forgive my romantic, hollywood version of history)  However, nowadays, political leaders are chosen by their small group of peers, and are mocked openly with little to no respect from the people.  This leader, with the help of their friends, gets to make decisions without the approval of the people, and use any excuse that comes to mind should these decisions fail.  My first example is the recycled water (poo-water if you ask me).  Yes, I am sure there are many 'good' reasons why this should be put in.  However, when the people were asked if they wanted this, the answer was a very clear "NO!"  But did our noble leaders listen?  No, they did what THEY wanted to, regardless of the publics opinion.  As I said last week with regards to the schooling system.  They make changes without fully thinking things through, and without giving any regard to the publics opinion.  If this is to be a true democracy, I would like the power to either vote on serious issues, or be given the right to vote on the person who gets the final say on these things.  (Never going to happen, pointless to dream)

They are treated like royalty, being paid EXORBIDANT salaries (for the rest of their lives!) and even given a special 'palace' to live in.  But does anyone see Gillard standing at the front of our metaphorical battlefield?  Hell no!  The only battling she does is sticking a knife in her former leaders back!  (two months before the end of his term, too!)  Should our country face any real danger or problem, I can guarantee you that the 'leaders' of our country would be the last people to help us.  In my opinion, the political leaders of our country should be paid MINIMUM WAGE!  (that is what I have to live on, raising my four children, so if I can do it, they can too!)  I am okay for them to be given a house to live in, and for their work related airfares to be paid for by the country.  I would even be okay with them being given a car, because this way they only have to pay for their food and bills.  They get to feel what it is like to be one of the people, and then they do not enter politics for the money.  The people in power would only be those who were truly passionate about the cause.  This would also save BILLIONS each year.  There you go, I have just solved the Global Financial Crisis!  (For Australia anyway)  So they would not need this stupid new carbon tax, (which by the way, once again the people have said they DID NOT want it, but did they listen?) and our country would be one of the wealthiest!

But, this will never happen, because the sad truth is, politicians are greedy, selfish idiots who care more about their wallet and their ego than they do about the country and its people.

Any comments, either for or against are welcomed, and also as I said, I would LOVE to hear some truths about other countries politics.  Just please keep in mind everyone that I do not recommend divulging your own personal political preferance.  This is not for or against either political party, as lets face it, politicians are the same regardless of their side.  (Please remember that all of my comments are generalisations, there's always an exception to the rule)  However, in saying that, I can't wait to hear everyone's opinions on this everyday annoyance!

-T.J.

Week 5: School

Hello again everyone.  I am glad to see that people are still reading and responding by week five.  With some last minutes comments, it seems that our debate over celebrity chefs is...  A draw!  (this seems to be a trend)  But now onto something a little more serious which is a daily annoyance for parents like myself.

Is school letting our children down?

Back in my day (yes, I know, I sound like a ninety year old) 'prep' or pre-school as it was then called, was a half-day of school, designed for the specific purpose of getting children used to a schooling environment, and PREparing them for the routine and rules of school.  However, nowadays things are quite different!  My eldest child has just started prep, and already, she is expected to learn science, english, mathematics, and even has HOMEWORK!  Come on!  She is five!  This 'prep' year is not even mandatory!  It is supposed to simply be a year of school to get her used to being away from Mummy and Daddy, and following instructions given to her by someone else.  (I should not be punished for raising my child myself instead of dumping them in childcare, to be raised by strangers)  But the government has decided to take advantage of this extra year and cram their heads full of information that they should not be learning yet.  What is so bad about kids being kids and enjoying their childhood for a little bit? 

Back to the homework.  Are teachers that inept that they think a five year could not possibly fit all of their 'work' into school hours?!  In our society there is an increasing problem with depression and stress, even in children.  Much of this stems from people's inability to seperate their work life and their home life.  By constantly bringing work home with you, you are not giving your mind the down time it requires to relax and destress.  Yet so many people do it!  We are teaching our children from such an early age to adopt this dreadful bad habit!  I understand homework if the child has been playing up or not doing their work at school.  If they want to waste the teachers time, then the teacher should waste their home time, but my daughter is very good at school and always completes the tasks set to her.  It is a little unfair that her relax time should be filled with learning words.  What is her teacher being paid for if I am the one teaching her?  She may as well be home schooled.

Another problem that worries me is the move of grade 7 from primary school to high school.  Well, now that they are using prep as grade 1, it makes sense to move it.  But they have not looked at the bigger picture.  The 'kids' in grade 12, 11 and even 10 are usually having sex, doing drugs and drinking alcohol.  It is bad enough that the grade 8 and 9 are exposed to this very active age group, but now we want our tiny little grade 7's around them too?!  Most people reading this must be thinking 'aren't you over-reacting?'  No, I am not.  I remember high school.  In grade 7 I was a child, playing hide the apple sticker in the toilets, and much too scared of the opposite sex to even think about dating them.  Not 2 months after I started high school I had my first date.  My friends were into drugs, and I was teased for not being interested in sex, drugs and alcohol.  In my opinion, schools should be split into three groups.  prep - 5, 6 - 9, 10 - 12.  Or at the very least, do not put our little, innocent, vulnerable babies into high school.  I am rather upset that the government just decided to do this, never even asking our opinion!  I for one say 'no!'  I think maybe I should take my kids out of school for that year, although that would harbour its own problems.

The government is making so many changes to our children's education, and the sad truth is, none of them are beneficial, and our kids will pay for these bad choices with their future.

So flood the page with all of your crazy opinions both for and against.  Also, feel free to leave comments on old pages.  It won't count towards the current tally of for or against, but I will still read it, and later on I will try to update the tally.  I look forward to everyone's opinions.  Happy reading.

-T.J.

Week 4: Celebrity chefs

Welcome back readers, and hello to any new readers.  The responses to week 3:  "Has feminism gone too far" were fairly light.  I expected quite a range of different views and opinions, and in fact was looking forward to it.  It seems to me that people might be agreeing with my point of view, but society has people afraid to voice their opinion.  If that is the case, you can always leave an anonymous comment.  But make sure that you leave something, as I am trying to gauge the general opinions of the populous.  In any case, it seems that everybody agreed with me, that feminism has indeed gone too far.

For this weeks topic I thought I would tackle a more playful issue.  "Do celebrity chefs have too much power?"

I, like millions of others, have watched television shows such as 'Masterchef', 'Good Chef, Bad Chef', 'Huey's Cooking', 'Alive & Cooking' (my kids favourite) & the current 'My kitchen Rules'.  I love cooking shows, and I love seeing the different ideas, techniques and foods.  But I cannot stand the famous chef's that we see dictating to us how we 'must' have things done.  My pet hate is the humble steak.  Every cooking show that you watch will tell you that a steak MUST melt in your mouth and should NEVER be cooked past medium.  I am sorry, but I thought that food was something that differs greatly from one person to the next, and I for one like my steak WELL DONE.  I do not like having blood squish into my mouth as I chew, nor do I enjoy the taste of it.  How dare some stranger tell me that I MUST eat the steak the way that they like, just because they are famous.  It is actually better for you to eat a chewy steak, as it excercises the jaw muscles, helps with digestion, and even helps to burn off the calories that you are consuming.  I do not feel the need to have something melt in my mouth.  I am not an invilid who needs their food pureed.  Maybe when I am 90, I will.  But until then, I am going to enjoy my healthy jaw muscles, and chew my food.

Another thing that I find annoying with celebrity chefs is the concept of 'resting meat'.  I understand all of the theory behind why this is done, but it pisses me off!  I have four children, so sitting down to a hot meal is rare.  Not to mention that I am a fairly slow eater, so my meat is usually getting a little on the cool side before I get to eat it.  If I were to let my steak sit for ten minutes before I ate it, it would be so ridiculously cold!  I have always put my meat straight from oven to plate, as by the time I get to eat it, it will have 'rested' anyway.  Besides, my priority is heat, not juices.  If I wanted 'juicy' meat, I would have made gravy.  But no, these celebrities insist that you MUST rest your meat.

On the show 'Good Chef, Bad Chef', the female cook insists that we should only use ingredients based on their health value, never on flavour.  She is constantly criticising the other chef for using things based on how they make the food taste, instead of 'how quickly they are absorbed', or 'how it will cleanse your pancreas'.  And the frustrating thing is, people are listening to her and doing what she says!  These celebrity chefs are in positions of power, having millions hear THEIR opinions.  The sad truth is, that they are abusing their power and brainwashing the country.  I for one will cook as I see fit, not by how one or two individuals insist on. 

If you agree with me, please leave a comment to let know.  Especially if you do not agree, leave a comment.  It does not have to be long, and it can be anonymous if you wish.  But I would love to hear if I am crazy, or if there are others who agree.

-T.J.

Week 3: Feminism

Last week's topic 'Has racism become acceptable?' had a fairly light response.  The comments that we did have were from both sides, so once again we have a draw of opinions.  However, I have a feeling that this weeks topic may receive some different responses.

So, this week my question is, "Has the feminist movement gone too far?"

This is a difficult concept to put across without ruffling feathers, as pretty much 50% of people are women.  First of all, I would like to say that I am not against everything that the feminists have accomplished.  Quite the contrary really.  I am all for women's right to vote, women's right to equal pay and equal job opportunities.  I am also all for women's equal treatment.  However, that is one of the biggest problems that I have noticed.  Women nowadays are demanding to be treated as equals to men, but they are not treating men equally.  If a man was to call a woman fat, she would be in an uproar, however, women feel that it is hilarious to say that a man is fat, tubby or pot-bellied, and he is not allowed to make comment in return.  Women demand the same jobs as men, but when they have them, they complain that things are too heavy, or that they need constant toilet brakes.  To have women trying to act like men is rediculous.  I understand that some women are, how do you say, much more physically capable than most, and that is fair enough.  But to have a 50kg lady in a job that involves heavy manual labour is inappropriate at best.

One of the biggest problems that our current society faces is the 'global financial crisis'.  Many families in America lost their homes because of the GFC, and many others struggle with the financial woes of home ownership.  Yet sixty years ago, there was only ever one parent at work and they were able to cope with the mortgage.  So what has prompted this money change?  I believe it is the working woman insisting that she have a blooming career, and the feminists insisting that they be entitled to work just as any man does.  Having a job and focusing on your career is fine.  I have no argument with that.  However, when everyone in the country has both parents working and dumping their children in daycare, it makes it practically impossible for families like mine who WANT to have one parent at home, spending quality time with their young children and raising them with their ideals instead of what a daycare teaches them, impossible.

Another big problem we face is the bad behaviour of children.  As one of our readers mentioned in 'week 1:  Children's Discipline', a big problem with children's behaviour is broken homes.  So many children come from broken homes, in fact, there are more broken families in my daughter's class than not.  This is from a number of different causes: divorce, seperation, death, and the most common, children born out of wedlock.  No matter the cause, not having a mother AND a father around hinders a childs development.  They need a female role model to show them how a lady should act and how she should treat a man, and they need a male role model to show them how a man should act, and how a man should treat a lady.  Most children are missing out on this vital knowledge.  But the root of this problem, is feminism.  Back in the sixties, the pill became a revolutionary icon, giving women the ability to control their own sexual choices.  This led to the desensitisation of sex, and it quickly became common place to have sex before marriage and to indulge in multiple sexual partners.  Just look at society today.  It is not uncommon to have sex on one of the first dates.  Now, I am not here to debate premarital sex ( though I would like to), but the fact is, having sex makes children.  Hell, that IS the point of it.  So this trend has caused MANY people to get pregnant with someone that really, they did not intend on staying with long term.  I think that our children would greatly benefit from stepping back into the polite past when STDs were unheard of, and sex was a special thing between a man and his wife.

I strongly believe that men and women, in some ways, are not equal.  We are made differently, with different strengths and weaknesses.  We compliment eachother because of this.  I think that women need to stop being so hyprocritical, be grateful for the rights that they have, and accept the differences that make them so special.  Women are delicate, and need to be treated as such.  Lets face it, most women spend at least nine months of their lives pregnant and EXTREMELY fragile.  Men are big and strong so then they can protect their fragile wives and children.  In my household we have adopted the philosophy that the man is the head of the household.  He maintains the right to put his foot down should he really want to, and has the final say should he wish.  The wife is a close second, though she gets an equal say in all decisions and her voice is always heard.  The flip-side to the man being the head of the household, is that he is well-aware that should any intruders brake in, it is his job to deal with it and protect his family.  I am not suggesting that all families take up this mentality, but at least we all play to our strengths.  Why are feminine women who believe in old-fashioned values and the strength of their men looked down upon with distain?  Why are women today so obsessed by having 'independence'?  Does this really make them happy, or does it do just what it means, make them alone?

Basically, my point has been that while the feminists have accomplished some great things, we have also lost some great things, and the sad truth is that we are not better of.  I know that if women did not have the right to vote, my partner and I would discuss our opinions and we would vote together.  As I have said, this is a very difficult concept to discuss, but I do believe that the feminist train needs to slow down and reflect on all that has changed.

Please let me know if you agree or disagree with what I have said, as long as statements are mature.  I understand that some people will be against what I have said, and I welcome their views also.

-T.J.

Week 2: Racism

Welcome back everyone.  We had a great reaction from week 1:  Children's Discipline.  We only really had a couple of people post comments on the argument, some for and some against, so people's opinions on the smacking ban was a draw.  However, it was fantastic to see people so passionate about their children, and I think that as long as we all use consistant, firm discipline balanced with love and affection, our children will be fine.  Just remember that if you would like to have your opinion counted towards the argument, you need to leave a little message here on the blog page.  Please ensure all comments are mature and on the topic.

So that brings me to this weeks topic.  "Has racism become acceptable?"

I know that pretty much everyone who reads that question is going to frown, shake their head and say 'of course not', but please, hear me out.  Once upon a time, white man ruled the world, with black man as his slave.  Eventually, white man came to his senses and saw the black man as his equal.  It is now very offensive to treat someone differently because of the colour of their skin.  Or is it?  I personally do not care what colour someone's skin is.  I think people are stupid no matter where they were born.  But, the attitude from other races towards the white man has become one of loathing.  (I am going to generalise quite a bit, and I am aware that individuals can vary extremely) For example, if two children at school were misbehaving, one black and one white, quite often, the black child will say something along the lines of "it's 'cause I'm black!"   Where as a white child would not say "It's 'cause I'm white!"  Not to mention that if a different race is offended by...  Christmas for example, we are expected to remove it from our schools just to appease a small minority.  I am sorry, but I was under the impression that this was an Anglican country (for the majority)(This is based on Australia).  Why are we so quick to roll over and change our own traditions and beliefs to appease a few complainers.  What did our grandfathers fight and die in the war for, if we are just going to give away our beautiful nation.  Why is it okay for people to burn the Australian flag, but they cry 'racist' if we burn theirs.  I am happy to welcome any colour of people into my country, but they have to be willing to become an AUSTRALIAN.  They do not need to follow our religion or customs, but they should not make us change ours!  To quote a bumper sticker I saw once, "If you don't like it, leave!"  But white man does not defend himself against these racist acts.  I think maybe they are trying to compensate for the years of racism against other races, but enough is enough.  Equality involves BOTH sides being treated EQUALLY.  The sad truth of the matter is, that it has become acceptable for other races to be racist towards the white man.  And quite the opposite to a hundred years ago, the middle aged white male has become the least powerful demographic in the world.

So, if you also can see that racism has become acceptable (not that you agree it should be or not), please let me know.  If you disagree, I would love to hear why.

-T.J.

Week 1: Welcome/Children's Discipline

Hi all, and welcome to my blog, T.J.'s Sad Truths.  I am personally sick and tired of the most logical and sensible ideas and solutions being either over-thought or over-looked.  The point of this blog is to make as many people as I can aware of common sense thinking and ideals.  There are so many topics that I plan to go into, ranging from marriage, religion, and politics, to the everyday things like driving, and parenting, (oh so much on parenting!).  So, each week I am going to discuss the problems with certain things that are happening today, and how common sense can fix it.  I will even make you guys a deal.  You can leave a suggestion for next week's topic, and if enough people want me to discuss that, I will.

The topic for week 1 is the headline that was on the morning news today.  "Should smacking your children be made illegal?"

This suggestion both upsets and infuriates me.  I am a proud parent of four children, all under the age of five.  They are all very intellegent children, both mentally and emotionally.  I can and do take them everywhere with me, and am not afraid that they may cause me trouble or make a scene, (with the exception of the two month old who cannot help but to cry).  They know the difference between right and wrong, and have a healthy understanding of consequences for their actions.  If I was to ask an adult, "What would happen to you if you put a live electrical appliance in the bath with you?"  Every adult would answer along the lines of "you would get electricuted".  This is a simple matter of knowing the outcome, or the consequences of your actions.  This concept is not understood by children, unless you teach them.  Now I would not recommend teaching them consequences by putting them in a bath with electrical items.  It is much safer to give them a smack.  This way they associate doing something bad, with the pain of the smack.  Yes, once they reach a certain age, you can reason with them, but it takes time to reach this age.  There are so many children nowadays who have NO respect for authority or rules.  We are having ten year olds holding up convenience stores, and twelve year olds beating up security officers.  Their parents have failed them by not teaching them respect, and consequences.  All of our parents were probably smacked as children, and most of them grew up with respect for their elders, and a healthy understanding of the rules.  But somewhere along the way, society has gotten it into their heads that smacking is evil, and that we need to pander to whatever our children want.  Smacking is the easiest and most effective way of diciplining your child, and the only thing I am against is when people turn smacking into beating.  That is NEVER acceptable.  So many people think that smacking is child abuse, but the sad truth is that not disciplining your child is child abuse.  You are setting them up for failure and problems.

So, the key to proper discipline is:
1.  Choose a method of discipline that works for you, whether it be smacking, the 'naughty corner', etc
2.  Be consistant!  This is the MOST important thing.  What kind of message are you giving your child if one day you let them stand on the couch, and the next day you are screaming at them for standing on the couch.
3.  Never smack out of anger, only smack to teach them.
4.  Always explain why you smacked them (or what discipline they received)
5.  Make sure you balance punishing the bad things with rewarding the good.


Thank you for listening to my rant on the sad truth about children's discipline (or lack thereof).  I look forward to your feedback, and I understand that some hippies out there are going to disagree with me, and that is their perogative. 

*I would also like to add an amendment to the original post.  The fact of the matter is, is that most people lack the required patience, stamina and time to discipline without the appropriate smack, but society is telling them that smacking is wrong and cruel. So what is happening is a downwards spiral of bad behaviour due to no real appropriate discipline being used.

-T.J.